Christmas Advent December 11

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

Christmas Advent December 10

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

Christmas Advent December 8

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

Christmas Advent December 7

I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Christmas Advent December 6

Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?

I don't even like ice cream but...

What I want for Christmas

Jane Austen Action FIgure - English Writer - Archie McPhee®

Jane Austen Action Figure Jane Austen was one of the greatest English novelists in history. Despite a rather sheltered life, she was able to capture the subtleties of human interaction so perfectly that her novels continue to be immensely popular to this day. This 5-1/4" tall, hard vinyl action figure comes with a book (Pride & Prejudice) and a writing desk with removable quill pen! Jane Austen Action Figure item 11513 $8.95 ea.

Christmas Advent December 5

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.

And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Birthday

I guess I had better say something about my birthday since it was the big one... 40!

It has been a bit hard because Frank Zigmunt is away at college and M is in 1st grade and gone all day to school. I am quickly realizing "it" is all running through my fingers like sand. It is like cornstarch in cold water. It is really easy until I let it sit for a minute. Then it is really hard.

Anyway, it snowed Saturday morning which was lovely. I LOVE snow falling, especially when I don't need to be somewhere. The kids made me breakfast in bed (with the requisite flower from the living room flower arrangement). They are so sweet. Bnlfan got up early and cleaned the whole house for my present. That was the best! Then Dilbert got the Christmas decorations out and it was a mess again. Phooey! But at least they are out of the attic.

N even made me pies instead of cake and ice cream (I don't particularly like cake and especially don't enjoy ice cream) so it was nice. We played Apples to Apples that night.

The next day I woke up and realized I was supposed to play the piano for the ward choir. I had to go into it pretty cold and one of the songs is a "Baptist" song with a LOT of swing in it... It was almost too much for this VERY white Mormon girl to sight read. I just don't have a lick of rhythm in my soul. Dilbert and I got to teach for the last time in M's class. Her teacher is recovering from brain surgery--something that has been very difficult for us to deal with since he has been a close friend and is our age... Anyway, we really enjoyed the chance to team teach. We haven't served together since we were first married. I can see why Dilbert really loves to teach Primary.

Mom and Dad had the whole family up to dinner for my birthday. Grandma Z was there, too, which was a very nice surprise. She had a card for me and everything. She's a hoot. The first thing she did was she went up to Bnlfan and said, "If my name was Hillary, I would change it!" Bnl didn't know what to say so she just smiled her shocked smile and shook her head. Later, to Dilbert she said, "Doesn't it get so cold with no hair?" Dilbert just had to agree. We are still laughing! So it was very entertaining, and the food was delicious (the kids couldn't stop raving about the salad (Mom! it had cucumbers AND avocados!) and the green beans (What was the secret seasonings?) I think they ate more veggies than the main course! And then--MORE PIE! I tell you what! Just when I think no one knows me...

So that was it. A great birthday celebrating something I would rather forget. It's all downhill from here, right?

GREAT Jane Austin quote

No man is offended by another man's admiration of the woman he loves;
it is the woman only who can make it a torment.

- Jane

Christmas Advent December 4

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and hand it to him.

Christmas Advent December 3

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.

Christmas Advent December 2

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down?
We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

Christmas Advent: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

In honor of Christmas, my cute niece holds a Christmas Advent party on her livejournal blog. Last year I posted Christmas movies--check them out if you have such little to do that it sounds interesting. My nephew posted Chuck Norris trivia... Anyway, I have been a loss as to what I should post this year... You will all be so thankful to know I have decided to post pieces of wisdom and wit from Jack Handy.

So December 1: The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.